


Dear Sharon

by sunny_impalas



Series: Darrel Curtis' Notebook [5]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Anger, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Throwing Things, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunny_impalas/pseuds/sunny_impalas
Summary: The fourth letter inside Darry's journal.





	Dear Sharon

Two-Bit paused once again, was this right? Darry clearly hadn’t trusted anyone in the gang to know this. What the hell was he doing? This was private, this is a side of Darry he didn’t even know existed. If Darry trusted him, wouldn’t he have known this side of him existed? And, well, that hurt. He hated to admit it but it stung that Darry didn’t trust him enough to be vulnerable around him.  
  
He sighed and swallowed the red hot anger starting to rise in his throat. He wasn’t angry at Darry, he didn’t know why he was getting angry. He was more angry at himself more than anything else. He didn’t know why he was angry at himself either, to be honest. It was Darry’s choice to be vulnerable around him or not, but Two-Bit wanted to know him more, now that he knew that this side of him existed.  
  
Two-Bit shook his head and started to read the note to Sharon.  
  
“ _Dear Sharon_  
  
 _You were my second girlfriend. And my third partner. I’m not sure though if you were a fling though, someone I picked up in the midst of my despair. I truly and honestly don’t know. All I know is that I can’t get married to you like you want me to. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you, I did feel something for you at the beginning of our relationship though, I’ll admit to that._  
  
 _But it wasn’t love. And I know you know that I don’t feel for you the way you feel for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same way for you again, hell, I know I won’t. I don’t expect to you to ever forgive me, or talk to me again, I don’t expect you to. I’d be angry too. If I said I wanted to get married to someone and they dumped me three seconds later._  
  
 _Maybe I’m just scared of commitment. David was the first person I had truly loved unconditionally, and he died. What if you died in a car crash? What if you were murdered? What if, what if, what if. That’s all my brain is recently, worry. Worry and anxiety. I should probably talk to someone, but I don’t want people to think I’m weak. I know my mom would probably take me to a professional, but the thought of what my dad would say if I asked makes me sick to my stomach._  
  
 _You deserve someone so much better than me, and that’s a fact. David deserved someone much much better than me. Hell, even Mary did. But she’s the only one so far that went out and did something about it. She’s the only one so far that realized it._  
  
 _Anyways, I’m sorry for breaking up with you. That’s what this whole letter was supposed to be. Before I got all over analytical._  
  
 _-Darry_ ”  
  
Two-Bit gripped the notebook. Darry couldn’t get a break from the universe, and apparently, he couldn’t get a break from his mind. The whole David thing must’ve had a bigger impact on Darry than Two-Bit had originally thought. It made sense though, Darry and David seemed to have really loved each other.   
  
Fuck the war. It caused this whole damn thing, at least in Two-Bit’s mind. To anyone else, that would’ve been crazy talk. But it made sense to him, and that’s all that mattered. He didn’t know what to do. He sighed, he should stop reading. This was personal to Darry, it wasn’t his damn business to know Darry’s personal thoughts. He stood up and took the notebook back to the closet, and he was about to put it back, but then he had a sudden, horrifically nagging thought.  
  
“ ** _What if there’s one about you?_** ” He paused and stared at the book. Now, that was an interesting thought. What if, what if Darry had feelings for him? What if he wrote about him? He wanted to deny it, but he just couldn’t. The thought was more appealing than he wanted to admit.  
  
He suddenly made a one-eighty turn and sat back on Darry’s bed. He quickly kicked off his boots so he could sit cross-legged. He shakily turned the page, the constant thrum of the thought “What if it’s me?” He swallowed and started to read the page. But when he got to the page and he read the name at the top, he felt red-hot rage flow through him and he threw the notebook at the wall.  
  
He glared at the book for a minute before he realized the cover had come off. His heart stopped and he scrambled to the book, grabbing the last half of the cover that was left. He grabbed it carefully and stared at it. He sighed, even he had to admit that was a little over dramatic. He swallowed and grabbed the notebook.  
  
He let the loose pages flutter shut as he walked back to Darry’s bed. He stared at the first page, studying the eyes and hands that littered it. They weren’t too bad, he wondered to himself why he had never heard Darry talk about this.  
  
“ ** _Probably for the same reason he didn’t tell you about this notebook in the first place._** ” His thoughts hissed.  
  
He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the thought. After a few more seconds he flipped the pages to get to the one that had gotten him so angry. When he got to the page he felt jealousy and anger spike into his bloodstream, but he sighed to make it calm down. He didn’t want to cause any more damage, he had done that enough already.  
  
Two-Bit stared at the page for a few more minutes before he finally got over his damn ego and resolved to just read it. He let out another breath to calm himself down again, and to prepare himself before reading. He had another one of those pesky little thoughts, asking himself if he should really be reading this, but he had already come this far, it was too late to back out now.  
  
“ _Dear Paul._ ”


End file.
